Humble

The last three days have been some of the most joyful and humbling of my life.  I had hit a little rough patch in my life, and was having my old, “screw it - I’m moving back to Hawaii to live in my dad’s basement with the roaches” fantasy that I have sometimes. 

My job search was uninspiring – both in some of the opportunities provided and on my interview evaluation forms.  My relationship fizzled and I was having a little pity party.

Then I got an amazing piece of news – my old organization’s spin off company, which I had the honor to assist in the set up of their HR practices, wanted to talk to me about coming on as a consultant because they were growing and needed some additional help.  I was completely overjoyed.  I love these people – they are smart and funny and professional and interesting as hell.  Not quite Burning Man interesting, but I could talk to them for hours, learn, laugh and even want to stay up past my bedtime (which is an incredible 10 p.m. in the summer!) 

I accepted with an agreement to start on Wednesday. 

On Tuesday, I had a bad case of the blues and a friend of mine offered to come pick me up and feed and entertain me for the afternoon.  I am not a lot of fun to be around when I am sick or gloomy, so this was a very generous offer.  Very.  I slipped out $200 and shoved it under the sofa like a little cash Easter Egg.  (Last pillow on the left – kidding!)  Probably should have waited until later in the post to say I was kidding, just to see if he would look.    I was so humbled and grateful for this act by someone who has very quickly become a real friend and not just a party friend.  Plus, he made me eat chicken and crackers and makes me laugh my ass off. 

Wednesday I went in for my first day of work.  I know these folks, but I was still nervous as hell.  I asked one of my colleagues how I looked and he said, “like it is your first day of work”.  Great.  That will inspire great confidence in my abilities as an HR Director.  Hands shaking, sweating profusely, outfit all wrong, talking too fast (oh wait, that is how I talk).  Oh well.  It was going down.

They are housed with my old organization currently and former employees (many of them now friends although I know in HR Land you aren’t supposed to do that, but I don’t care – you don’t go into this business if don’t care about people).  But it is a business so sometimes you have to do things like fire your friends.  Which either makes me a good compartmentalizer or a sociopath.  Maybe there is no difference. 

All day, people kept coming up and hugging me, saying hello, sending others over – it felt like I was coming home from war.  Mostly it just felt like I was coming home.  But they don’t pay me to socialize, so I kicked off a very ambitious project and finished it that day.  I worked my ass off and my back is killing me, but I wanted them to know that they had hired someone who could kick ass, take names and do it in 3 inch heels.  They had a welcome party after work for some of the new employees and I got to meet the families of my colleagues and dearest friends. 

I went home feeling absolutely giddy, so I tortured my garden until I finally got tired enough to watch Jon Stewart.  This was not, however, before I showed up a week early and or late to plan a party.  I had gotten my dates all wrong when J answered the door, he looked absolutely bewildered.  He was as gracious as always - shoved a calendar in my hands, slapped me in the face and threw me out of the door. 

I was so excited about going to work the next day, I couldn’t sleep.  I kept jumping up in the middle of the night writing myself emails and developing tools I thought we could use to enhance the developing culture. 

I woke up at 4 a.m. and saw the sun start to rise.  I mean the light-ish thing that comes up behind the clouds.  I couldn’t wait to get to work! 

Thursday was even better than Wednesday because I now had a phone AND a garbage can!  I don’t know where to find a stapler, but I did locate the bathroom – just in time.

I embarked on another project that was also pretty ambitious, but it is a tool that will help me develop reporting and analysis.  HR people – I made an HRIS on Excel. You all do it, you know you do.  It is our dirty little secret.  You can buy an enterprise server HRIS thingey for $100k a year, but you know you are just going to download a report into a csv file and convert it into Excel.  You are. 

I kept running into old friends and colleagues from ISB, Amazon, SeattleBiomed – because I don’t have a private office and need to make sensitive calls on my cell which gets no reception, so my office is on a bench on the Amazon campus.  Hope they don’t charge me.  In the summer, I also prefer to conduct employee meetings, especially difficult ones, outside.  If the sun is out, you are just two people having a conversation about how to improve things instead of some terrified employee sitting across the desk from a scary HR person.  Then I buy them a gelato or a coffee and make jokes.  I think this is why there has never been an employment related attempt on my life.  Employment related only. 

After work, my trusty sidekick Max and I went out to dinner, (after I got a call from one of my bosses who asked me how things were going which was so freaking cool, I don’t even know what to do!) where he proceeded to tell such raunchy stories that I put my napkin over my head to cover my face so no one would know I was with him.  Because if you can’t see them, they can’t see you.  Unfortunately, I had dropped a giant chunk of palak paneer onto the napkin and it was dripping down my face onto my shirt.  Which now smells like Indian food.  So I am not going to wash it.  My shirt.  I will totally wash my face.  Then we walked around Greenlake and he did the same thing, but this time I participated because if you are moving fast enough, they can’t see you.  We were like insult ninjas.  Yaar!  I know that is a pirate sound, but I don’t know what Ninjas say.  (Then Jess called with a funny HR story from Boston and I loooooovvvee those.) 

Tomorrow is another project that will make them amazed (except they all hate this HR stuff which is why they hired me).  It would probably be more interesting if I just brought donuts. 

Three awesome days.  The only thing that can make a week like this (meaningful work, outstanding colleagues, real friends – friends closer than family, laughter – oh! And I went for a run!) would be a smart nerdy boyfriend, the ability to fit into size 8 pants and winning the shoe lottery.   I am a grateful girl.