I'm a complete asshole

 My best friend and I worked in Waikiki during high school (Kaiser) and knew enough Japanese to be dangerous. If guys we didn't like tried to pick us up at bars or clubs (where I got in using my fake German ID - I'm not German, I'm full local random mangrel haole - I just found a wallet with the card thingey in from the 80s at Kaimuki Goodwill and decided to go for broke - anywho, we would just fake speak Japanese (which I realize in retrospect was really F'ed up, but I was a 15 year old jerk) and get them to go away. Occasionally a local guy would pick up on these two haole chicks claiming they only spoke Japanese and yell at us - scared the tourists away, but. If that helps........I have some fantastic stories from my fake life as a German. And, my friends got booze and smokes.