I had finally picked up my suitcase at the airport after attending a Barong Dance on the advice of my guide. It is basically a play about the pull between good and evil. There is no end - you get to decide if you will follow good or evil. I love the amoral stance in Asian theater and cinema. The play is put on by farmers who take a break from tending their fields to come in, play an instrument or act for tourists, then have lunch and go back to their fields to work. They are pretty amazing people. Get up at 3 am, start working in the fields, come into town, play a rock concert/opera, eat some lunch, go back to the field, have dinner, make some exquisite handicraft, go to bed, lather, rinse, repeat. I will NEVER complain about my job again.
The play was very elaborate, but I had no idea what they were saying. I was constantly the only person alone at any event I attend, so people either tended to talk to me or look away like I have a bad rash. Which I actually do now.
I sat next to a family of Indonesian Muslims during the play and there was a really racy part where they killed the demon, but he had a GIANT erection. It was pretty funny and I wanted to crack up but I didn't want to piss them off. I don't know why I was worried, they aren't Puritans. The grandmother was slapping her thigh and screaming with laughter. I relaxed and let the dick jokes roll. The best part? It is a working temple and a kitty ran down the stairs onto the stage in the middle of the play. A kitty!
And the Tony Award goes go Kitty #48! Her acceptance speech was predictable, “meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow meow. Meow meow meow meow.”
The driver took me to the airport to pick up my bag (won't you even call me in the morning, Korean Airlines?) and I literally jumped for joy as the lost and found guys looked bewildered. I tried to pantomime "5 days in the same pants!" but it didn't translate. I went to change in the bathroom, but it was packed with millions of Russians so I just changed by the sink in front of everyone and hoped I wouldn't see any of them ever again.
More importantly than clean underwear, however, was my camera. My beautiful camera. I looooove you. I looooooovvvee you! I do! Whose a widdle camera? You! That is who!
I want to marry my Nikon.
My guide had an athletic day planned for me and next took me up to see the volcano. Normally when I go on "vacation" I am up at 4, running around, planning a nice relaxing 16 hour day. I was almost dead by noon – this guy kicked my ass.
On the way, he insisted I try durian. I am scared of eggplant, but I acquiesced and we stopped by the side of the road to have this woman chop the thing open with a giant, dirty machete. In Indonesia, you eat with your right hand, so I reached in and scooped out a piece. It wasn't the worst thing I ever ate, but I wasn't going to have more than one or two bites - it tasted like weird cheese on a pit. It is clearly a delicacy for the Balinese and I think they like having tourists gross out on it so they can finish the basketball size chunk of fruit themselves. Fine with me! I like rambutan better anyway.
We stopped at some of the craft villages outside of Ubud which are just giant salesrooms out in the country, but it is cool and they do amazing work, so I helped enrich the local economy. Then we stopped at the water temple to cleanse in holy water. I am not a very "woo woo" person, but this place was clearly sacred. You could feel it physically walking in. The temple is over 1000 years old and built around a spring that comes out of the rocks. There is a giant grotto growing behind it. I cleansed myself as my guide, Mike, showed me without actually falling in the water and we walked back to the car. It was the strangest thing - the second we left the temple, I was so tired, I could barely stand. There was this soul tiredness that just took over. Like the last 10 months of insomnia finally hit me. I fell asleep at 7 p.m. not waking until 7 a.m. without sleeping pills and with an overwhelming acceptance of insects. Which is good because I was in bug heaven.
Since I finally had my camera, I decided to go back to the Monkey Forest to take some pictures. I got some great ones of baby monkeys eating bananas, baby monkeys playing, baby monkeys getting it on. Really. Baby monkeys were al Marvin Gaye "let's get it on" or is that Barry White? Anyway, baby monkeys are horny like suckers. There are banana peels all over the monkey forest too - I kept thinking I would slip on one like I was in an old Elvis Costello movie. Elvis and Costello? Meh.
I got some great shots and wanted to upload my photos onto Flickr. I had tried to attach the USB cable between my computer and camera the night before but I brought the wrong port, so I decided to look for one in Ubud, the city near which I was staying. I kept asking around and someone finally told me about a computer shop outside of town. I was going to walk, but had been walking all morning trying to get my bearings and had probably put 5 miles on my flip flops in 90 degree heat so when one of the never ending offers of "taxi?" "taxi?" came my way, I went for it.
It was a 19 year old kid, trying to earn some extra cash. I didn't really mind as I grew up in a tourist town and made my own supplemental income scamming tourists out of free parking spaces. He charged me $3 for a trip on the back of his motorcycle to the store. We didn't have helmets which is illegal, so we zipped around tour busses, alleys, in the middle of mini villages, past his friends like 800 times (if you really want to say you banged a chunky 40 year old woman, kid, go nuts!) and finally came to the shop which was closed. We tried another store and another, but they were all closed. Finally, we just took a joy ride around town. It was the most fun I have had in years. Bugs in my teeth, skirt flying everywhere, sweating profusely, laughing my ass off – no dignity whatsoever.
Since I wasn’t getting anywhere with technology, I wound up walking naked into a total stranger's room off the street for a massage. She was a massage lady and it had a sign and all, soI wasn't really worried – it is an integral part of Balinese healing. Plus, she had her 3 little kids in there and they kept pulling my hair, trying to go through my bag and getting into screaming fits while she worked and tried to calm them down while jumping up and down my back. It was awesome and I tipped her extra for the kids.
Everywhere you go every place in the world that attracts tourists, you get scammed. Growing up in Hawaii, our favorite past time was to get to the popular beaches really early, go for a swim, then sit on the hood of our cars smoking cigarettes until some tourist or military group came up and asked if we were leaving. "For $10," we would say. So I don't really mind when people try to sell me crap or want to take my picture with a parrot or offer me something for money that is actually free. When we were kids, we did it for sport. Here they do it for survival.
I headed back to the villa (it is only $40 per night, but it is a real live villa), then I headed off to get some dinner, fall asleep, and wake up cuddling my favorite insects. Nite nite.
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