Unbuyers remorse

I did what?  I quit my job and went to freaking Bali?  Because I thought I could write and needed a break? I am a stereotype, a hyperactive stereotype.  And a terrible bureaucrat. 

So picture this - you turn 40 (in mere weeks), your thighs are sagging (your thighs have always been sagging, so quit bitching about it), you are unemployed and you actually asked your parents if you could move back into the basement even though you have a perfectly lovely house in Seattle.  You likely need adult supervision.  You have been single for a year and have two cats and are dangerously close to becoming the neighborhood cat lady - yeah, you know who you are.  You are me.   I bought a rocking chair and a shotgun for the porch so I could sit outside drinking lemonade and scream out "stay out of my yard!". 

So you get this great idea.  You will write a book.  After all, you write policies and emails and contracts for a living.  People like your holiday letter - they loooovvve it.  You get comments on your funny Facebook posts.  You must be a writer, right?  You think you have always wanted to get an overweight Australian mobile phone executive drunk on margaritas so you could do a stunning expose on the evils of the wireless phone industry (wait, you NEVER EVER EVER wanted that) so, you will write a book about something else. 

So you can use any lame excuse you want - your job was hard, your relationship ended, you had to date creepy guys you met online that submitted 30 year old pictures and pulled your hair on the first date, you worked 80 hours a day - it doesn't matter.  It is a self indulgent act.  Narcissism at her finest.  His finest.  You are still a feminist, despite what you did in that bar in Jakarta with your bra and the shot glasses. It WAS happy hour....

Yesterday was my eighth day of being home.  I weeded the yard, planted the garden for summer (lettuce, peas, cilantro, thyme, kale, and flowers), then washed every curtain in the house and rehung them, steam cleaned the rugs, made a casserole, walked to the fruit stand on 65th, tried (miserably) to make watermelon gazpacho, baked some cookies, ironed my underwear, snuck into my housemate's room to clean it, updated my job search workshop, delivered it to a party of 5 fellow unemployed friends and then went to a party.  I can't keep this up for long - I have way too much energy to live this life of leisure. 

Does anyone want a free HR department audit?  Can I update your resume?  Do you want me to landscape your yard?  Cause I am in.