Meanwhile, in Hawai'i.......I hadn't been able to reach my dad at all yesterday and was worried he had a heart attack or thought it was real and got out his Marine Officer dude outfit and a stick and was looking for commies (he was a fighter pilot during the Cuban Missile Crisis and I never know if he is going to flash back).
The answering machine is apparently broken and they never answer their cell phone, so by last night, I was getting worried. But, he actually had the best day of his life.
Their cell phone is from the last century (really), so they didn't know anything until around 11 when they were being carted around the Waialae Golf Club at the Sony Open.
OK, we aren't allowed to use hot water, buy anything new that isn't food (that is also frowned upon), throw anything away, etc. because my dad is so cheap. Somehow, he lucked into the Open with two free tickets. They always just take the bus down and stand outside by the fence and watch through that. Somehow, he heard someone on the bus say if you had your military ID, you could get in free.
They walk around to the military tent and he pulls out his original ID which is from 1958 or 1959, at least 1/3 is missing, but they comp him and my stepmom. Some people felt sorry for them (they do look pretty bad - because they won't buy anything new - mismatched slippers, holes in their pants, home-cut hair) and carted them over to the VIP military tent. They got free hamburgers, chili rice and beer.
Of course, they try to put what they can't finish in Kathy's purse to take home. On the bus. Someone feels sorry for them and packs them food to go. They watch the game, decide to head home.
Same thing - someone sees them shuffling on the golf course with their ripped up clothes, leaky to-go food, and, not only drives them back, but puts them on a private shuttle to catch the bus home. So while everyone was terrified for their families, calling their loved ones, etc., he sauntered through a golf tournament free of charge, got free beer, at least a week's worth of food AND got carted around like some celebrity.
We could have a reality show called Roach Dynasty or Staple This House (before it falls over) or Cr@p My Dad Tries to Sell on Craigslist, but the market cap would be too small. Anyway, I am extremely happy he got free stuff because that makes him happy, and I am also extremely happy to be making fun of my dad on FB instead of telling you another Air BnB story. Lady this week was lovely - she got me flowers when she heard about our previous guests. Humans.
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