Welcome to "I could not make this stuff up!" 125th edition.
Picked up the folks Tuesday night at SeaTac from Honolulu - so excited to see them after nearly a year. Had to stay home from work that day for serious tummy issues, still not feeling so great, but figure it won't take very long.
Get to the airport, wait in cell phone lot, no call. Check flight status - already arrived. Hmm, weird. Go to arrivals and wait in the car.
Unfortunately, my step mom lost her purse with the only cell phone between the two of them. I got a call from the security phone letting me know they were looking for it. OK, no prob. I will just go get their bags and wait in pick up. Got bags. Waiting another 30 minutes, tell Chris to sit in the car in the driver's side, took my phone, left my purse and wallet. Waiting, walking around another 45 minutes - no parents. I call security and ask to have them paged.
Meanwhile, my cell rings - Chris is in a panic. The airport cops are yelling at him to move the car. Since he doesn't have a license and never learned to drive, this is a problem. I tell him I will be right out. I go out - no car, no Chris.
At this point I am getting pissed. I walk over to an officer, and yell, "where is my husband and my car? He can't drive and is legally blind! Why can't you people chill out?" Officer looks at me and says, "what kind of car? License number?" I reply, "never mind, forget it, thanks!" and run back in.
Chris calls, "I am down at the end of the airport". I run down, no Chris, no car. No parents. Shit. Go back inside. Get another call, "honey, I am on the freeway, I don't know where, the cops were yelling at me, so I took off". Shit. He can't drive, my car is gone, he is lost, I have no money. Tell him to pull over NOW, put on hazards and wait. Go back to look for parents. Find parents. No purse. Security tells us to go to the baggage claim, baggage claim says ticket counter, ticket counter says lost and found. Closed. Ticket counter says police. Go back to police, hope I am not recognized. Purse has been found! Someone has to go back through security with ID to get it. All IDs are in lost purse, in lost car or with lost husband. Dad is finally allowed to go back escorted by security.
Takes 45 minutes on what should have been a 5 minute journey. Dad really likes security lady and is telling her all about Hawaii. He doesn't want to leave because she is so nice (and a total hottie). By now, it has been 3 hours. Chris is somewhere in Des Moines on the highway with my car and money on the side of the road with the hazzards on. For 3 hours. Wait, there is more!
Decide the only way to find Chris is via GPS while in a taxi with a driver that isn't real keen on this situation. Driver drives around the airport, freeway, airport again - finally find my car with the hazards on the side of the road. Shove obscene amounts of money in cab driver's hand. Drive home at 85 mph just daring someone to stop me. The end.
No comments:
Post a Comment